An Audience Of One

I wrote this many years ago but was reminded of it this morning as I began to question my abilities and found myself seeking the approval of man. It reminded me to keep my eyes on the composer of my life and off perfection.

 

Mathew 6:1 {The Message Bible} Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but God who made you won’t be applauding.

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Let my life be played before an audience of one. Let every step I take, every word I speak be orchestrated by the divine conductor of my life. As I sing His song, share His love and console His hurting, let it not be for applause but for the Glory of God. There have been numerous years of effort to get to this place, a position where the evaluation of man no longer holds the weight it once did for me. I had sought the applause of man to make up for my lack of destiny and assurance of whom I was created to be. I have performed like a paid actor seeking an agent to tell me that I got my part right. There were many situations when I was sincere in my service but if nobody noticed, it was as if God himself gave me a bad review. When did I stop performing to the crowd and start performing before an audience of one? I cannot tell at what moment it started, I just know that all of a sudden it did not matter as much what others thought. I still feel the tug every once in awhile, a craving to be approved of, a longing to satisfy others. There are days that I long to hear, well done from my fellow performers in the drama of life. I appreciate that only the writer of the script knows if I am doing a good job at my performance, any one else can only tell me if I have tickled their fancy. I will continue to seek the gaze of my director cast upon me as I follow His script, watching His expression, hoping and yearning for His academy award at the end of my life. .

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